ChillChaser Patio Heater

As summer winds down, and fall begins to creep upon us, it’s time to think about changes in weather. The nights have already gotten cooler here in Michigan, but my love of al fresco dining, and sitting on my porch can’t be put to rest. That’s why I (should) love patio heaters…they (should) allow me  to enjoy the outdoors until the beginning of November.

But in fact, I hate patio heaters…really fuckin hate ‘em. Where to begin…how about the fact that they look like misshapen penises? The fact that you have to lug yet another gigantic propane tank home from the gas station and up the stairs, only to have it last a few nights, and then do it all over again? How about the fact that when it’s windy, they always seem to go out? Or the fact that they only put out heat for those standing right beneath it?

I will never understand why restaurants waste valuable space with these horrible things, positioned two to a table to try and heat a patio…There’s a better solution…even if I just found it.

Meet ChillChaser, the ultra mod, ultra efficient patio heater of the future.

The heaters come in a few different sizes, and with different tricked out options. But they all share some key features: The all use a PIR infrared sensor to detect movement up to 13 feet away. That means if your gathering moves indoors to say, refresh your drinks, the unit will turn off after 4 minutes of non-movement. Walk back out on the patio, and the unit turns back on. It’s a great cost and energy saving feature. The second thing these bad boys share is the Carbon fiber heating elements. These infrared elements heat people, rather than air, and emit no CO2 gases. The heat works in a 13 foot area, which is much better than those mushroom heaters I mentioned before. All units also come with a magnetic remote, which is great when you are too lazy or drunk to get up and adjust the heat.

Here’s a rundown of the heaters, and their individual options:

Neptune:

The Neptune is the shortest of the lot, at around five and a half feet. It is also the least feature heavy, but does come with a nice 360 light at the top, which should put out about 40watts. The unit sits atop a stand with built in wheels for easy movement. Neptune comes with a heavy-duty powder coat finish and your choice of three colors! The unit is roughly $450.00 after exchange rates are factored in.

Zeus:

Zeus stands at 6.5 feet tall, and comes in three finishes: yellow, green, and gray. This heater is a 4 setting adjustable head that features a great outdoor light. It’s roughly $570.00 after exchange rates.

Poseidon:

Last on the list, is Poseidon. This heater is 6.5 feet tall, and comes in green, orange, or gray. With a price tag of well over $1,000 it’s also the most expensive. Why you ask? Well that tiltable head on the top doesn’t feature a light. No, no…that’s a mini media player:

What remains to be seen is exactly what the media unit is. My guess is that’s a mini computer/monitor, because it comes with a USB port, and memory card reader. If such is the case, then it’s probably possible to plug a wireless video streaming device into this, and watch tv, or dvds from your main entertainment unit.

Altogether, these units offer a refreshing take on an age old annoyance. The skinny, and clean design, and pops of bright color are sure to liven up any patio space. The carbon heating elements can heat up to 13 feet, which means people won’t be huddling around the heater. The fact that it’s electric, removes the need for groin straining propane tanks!  The only set back is the price tag. I would personally go with the Zeus, because I love the design, and $500some dollars isn’t so terrible for something I will get plenty of use from.

You can find more information at the ChillChaser website.

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